Okay, so I don't know about all of you, but for ZTA and for all the girls I know in other school's sororities, when you join you get a sorority family. It comprises of you, your big, her big, etc. Sorority families can be extensive with multiple lines or they can be singular with a one-little policy rule. It really doesn't matter, some find the more the merrier better, others find the one-only better. My sorority family technically has one line with the City Family, but we have a branch called the City Love Family. That's another thing, we name our families. We have the ladybug family, the tie-dye family, the bubblicious family, etc. Each one does cute things for each other and whatnot. Some families go fam-crazy, others aren't close at all, and others are in between. My family at least treats each other more as friends than strict big-little relationships.
Anyhow, now that I have gotten a little (actually I got one back in February, oops on that post!), I have discovered some etiquette I would like to bequeath on you. Now, I understand everyone feels differently, and feel free to contradict me because when it comes to Big-Little stuff, everything can get sensitive (that was a little sarcastic, and I'm not even sorry for it!). But here are some of my rules.
- Don't refer to your big or little as "Big" or "Little" when talking about them to other people. Saying "Oh, my big did this and that" is acceptable but saying "Big did this and that" is not. I don't refer to your big as Big, I refer to her by her name. When you're talking to me, don't refer to her as such. Say her name or say "my." It's a pet peeve, so it's one of those things that is split down the middle in terms of preference.
- Don't refer to your family as "the best." It's rude. I love my family, and I think we're pretty awesome, but I'm not going to tell you they're the best. All families are pretty cool in their own ways, and they fit each person perfectly. Mine is perfect for me because my big doesn't try to patronize me, and I do the same for my little.
- Don't go overboard with your family. Holy moly have I seen this many a times between all my friends in different sororities. The pressure on a poor girl to get a little is awful! It's more important that your littlest little makes a connection with a girl to join your family not just the fact that she gets a little. It leads down dangerous and drama filled paths.
- Seriously, though, don't patronize your little. In reality she's at most three years younger than you but more often just one. She's not an infant; she's not a toddler. Spoiling a bit is perfectly okay as is showing affection, but treating them like children is annoying for all people everywhere
- With that said, take care of your little! Make sure you're putting in effort to hang out with her and getting to know her more. I know for us, the time period between initiation and Big-Little Reveal is short, so truly getting to know a new girl isn't going to happen so quickly. Make sure you're trying to have lunch with her or go out with her or whatever meshes for you both. My little and I just had dinner today and hung out at Relay 4 Life together because we've both been hidden under rocks with our work. My big and I usually make time to see each other once or more a week if not more.
- Don't be exclusive. Holy crap, don't do that. Talk about annoying. You should be able to invite another sister or two to a "family gathering" without it being uncomfortable. Don't make people feel left out, it's not very nice, and it's so awkward.
Over all, those are my little rules. I've noticed this in a lot of different families between all my friends, so I thought I'd share to future and present sorority girls! Also remember to keep it goofy ;).