Church Etiquette 101

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So, one of the things that really irks me about churchgoing today (and is a factor in me being frustrated by the experience) is the complete lack of etiquette these days. I'm Catholic, and I have always had a very traditional view about how one should behave and act within a church setting. As my mom used to say, "God gives you everything, you can be presentable for an hour under His roof." Guys, my family isn't even that religious! I consider myself to be religious on my own terms, but I'm certainly not uber conservative about it. However, I am floored every time I go to church to see how much "Sunday's best" has fallen to the wayside. Here are some do's and don'ts to going to church.

DO: Be on time. It is extremely disrespectful and absolutely disruptive to arrive to church late. You might interrupt the procession or at the very least be the awkward stander looking for a seat.

DON'T: Wear sweatpants, sweatshirts, T-shirts, yoga pants, pajamas, or sneakers to church. Just. No. Why? Why?! 

DO: Wear something appropriate to church. I'm not asking for heels and a full get-up, but looking like you put some thought into your blouse is all. 

DO: Be hygienic. Church pews can be in close quarters, and nothing makes an hour run longer than armpit smells or a lady with too much heavy perfume.

DON'T: Fall asleep in church! Obviously, but geez!

DO: Follow the procedures of your church with respect. Kneel when you must kneel, stand when you must stand, sit when you must sit.

DON'T: Eat the Eucharist if you haven't been through communion. It's awful!

DO: Sing! Come on, church is the one place no one is going to yell at you for your voice. 

DON'T: LEAVE BEFORE THE PRIEST LEAVES AT THE END OF MASS. After communion? Before he proceeds down the aisle? No, no, no, no, no! You can wait an extra fifteen minutes to leave. This is the biggest form of disrespect I have ever seen in my entire life.  

That's it! A small, comprehensive list. I hope churchgoers take an upturn in the coming years and show up looking more presentable and respectful!